Spiritual ADD

I don't know if I'm the only one who gets this way, but sometimes I think I forget that God loves me. If you were to ask me I'd tell you I know he does, but sometimes my head remembers what my heart forgets. It usually happens about once a month or something like that. I start looking at my life and I see how crappy of a guy I am and how much I fail. So I try to fix myself and be good or whatever and I inevitably fall short of the mark I was aiming for. So then I get all depressed because I'm not good enough. And somewhere along the way I forget that God still loves me. I don't know why I shrug off that fact. I realize that the thing that sets a follower of Jesus apart from the rest of humanity is not that they're moral or rupublican, but that they are trying to live in the fact that God loves them. And I don't know why sometimes I forget that. I don't know why forget that God is still desperatly in love with me and desires a relationship with me and I can't be good enough to get there.

The great thing is that God always reminds me. Sometimes I'll hear a song or have a conversation or see a sunset and I hear God telling me, reminding me that I'm still his. He's not through with me and he's taking me through this. And thats good. Not always easy but good.

Fairness Pt 2

Ok I feel I need to apologize for my last post. It doesn't make much sense. I know what I meant to say it just all came out at once and got messy. It like diarrhea of the keyboard. (I just made myself not hungry) So I've been doing some pondering and soul searching I guess and I'm a little farther along than what i was. I've realised a few things. Fairness isn't a valid criteria to try to judge life through. We judge everything through the eyes of fairness. If something isn't fair we go and pitch a fit about it. But the only time we really get our pantys in a hitch is when where the ones getting the shaft. If someones cookie is nicer/bigger/more chocolate chips than mine I'm not happy. I had a hard time accepting this. I asked, "If fairness is not an issue then what's going to motivate me to go help people? If fairness doesn't exsist then childeren dying of starvation and treatable illnesses is somehow ok. It might be unfair, but fairness isn't real in the sense we think it is, so its ok." I didn't want to believe that. Then I realized I really wasn't doing that much to help people in the first place, so the notion of "fairness" wasn't really that motivational. I'm pretty selfish like that.

So the question must be asked what should motivate me to help the needy. What should motivate me to make this world a better place. I don't think answer is fairness. I think that its love. I think that Jesus fed the 5000 people who followed him out into the hills not because it was an act of social justice, but because he loved them. A lot of the times when Jesus healed or helped someone the gospels say that "He had compassion on them" or "He looked on them with compassion." And that makes this whole idea of helping people a lot harder. I should love poeple, and helping people because you love them is a lot different than making it an issue of social justice.